Sex, Love And Yoga


There are some people in the world who can live solitary lives, who can liveyoga and love without ever loving another human being, they can live alone and be quite content, but for the rest of us, we need to be with others and to learn to love one another. Priests or gurus who live solitary lives often concentrate on developing feelings of love for God but that kind of love is more abstract. These rare souls can love God alone or humanity in general, they feel love for all members of the species equally. Yet human beings on the whole need enduring close relationships, we need to love and to be loved not in a general way but by a particular individual or individuals. I do not mean to dismiss or under value the kind of exclusive love priests or gurus feel for God or the general love they feel for humanity, but by the same token, I refuse to elevate it either. The everyday garden variety of love that the common man experiences is life's greatest test of spirit or spirituality. You can not love someone you do not know or at least the depth of your feelings for a stranger can never reach the same depths of feeling you have for your lover, friend, or relation, unless you want to dilute the definition of the word love so much that it has no meaning at all. Love of humanity and love of God grows naturally out of the soil enriched by the love we develop for one another.

In loving another human being you evolve an appreciate of how that person differs from yourself and from others, you keep a loving focus on that person in your mind. Love is a form of devotion which can be the deepest spiritual experience of your life. Love between two people involves an intense mental and emotional concentration or focus on the beloved's characteristics and aspects, an exquisite tuning in on the others uniqueness. With deep love even those characteristics which could be considered faults or short comings take on a loving significance, they become accepted because they are amoung the attributes of the beloved and so are redeemed. In this way love is like a deep meditation on the beloved, who then becomes the exclusive subject of worship and adoration. By means of this meditation the beloved gains prominence over all others.

Within this love it is quite natural to express love for your beloved through sex but it is not natural to express love only through sex. Love can and should also find expression through caring acts, through commitment, devotion, and through playfulness and humor. Love should not be confined to sexual expression only, nor should there be a set of rules as to how often you should engage in sex as a measure of your love. Yoga recognizes the sacredness and potential divinity of human love and clearly accepts that it is the ultimate testing ground of true spiritual understanding. In Yoga sex and love are not divided.

You'll notice that in any culture where sex and love have become artificially divided or confused many psychological and social problems tend to arise and eventually these problems may become quite pernicious. Permanent or lasting relationships will become difficult to sustain under such conditions, and sex which is one of the most natural places for love's expression, may then become just another thrill seeking devise. When people come to feel that sex is the only legitimate place to express their feelings of love they may become obsessed with their performance and the quantity of sex within their relationships, as a result, feelings of love may become inhibited unless it can find expression through sex.

Sex then becomes the primary means of expressing love in ones relationships to the point where love itself may seem wrong if it can not be expressed sexually. This distortion can become quite severe in many cases, as for instance when a man or a woman feels love for their child but they are unable to demonstrate this love for them because they have been programed to feel that sex is the only legitimate way they can express love. Thus acts of common affection such as tender touching and kissing may be suppressed even towards their own children because it may be subconsciously interpreted as a sexual overture. The consequence is that touching has come to be considered so fundamentally sexual that touching any part another persons body is potentially dangerous and charged with sexual energy. Loves energy has become artificially fused to sex in modern society and so has been corrupted.

Another example of this corruption of loves expression happens when those people who may not desire sex as much can find no means by which to naturally show the affection and love they do feel towards the another person because it can not find a sexual outlet.

Many psychological problems thus develop as a result of artificial divisions made between sex and love, it may in some cases leads to sexual obsession. Sexual excesses or defenses can result such as in the case of those who proclaim that sex is debasing, evil, or animalistic, and so put tight bans on its expression both for themselves and for society. On the other hand, when people proclaim the merits of sex in an exaggerated fashion and then put unrealist standards of performances on themselves and others this is evidence of the same type of obsessiveness.

The human sex drive can be a very potent energy force made to be so by nature or God to over come man's equally strong intellectual and emotional drives. With the potent biological imperative of sex nature or God made sure that our species would survive and that procreation would take place no matter how smart we got. That said, the fact is that some of us still may not be have that much interest in sex. There should be absolutely no shame in not feeling as sexual as the next person there may be many factors contributing to a low libido. A loving person may or may not be a sexual person.

Sex of course assures the survival of the species and is vital on those grounds but sex was not only created by nature for the purposes of procreation alone or else each and every sexual encounter would result in a pregnancy. Sex is also an expression of pure exuberance and physical joy and it is natural and good to express joy through sex, however, it is not natural, and it is not good to only express love or joy through sex. Love should also be expressed through kindness towards others, through creativity, play, religion, art, and through devotion.

Love is the primary force of life without which, sex as such, could not exist. The artificial division and separation of love and sex is indicative of a psychologically repressive culture. All life, all relationships are sustained by love, love implies a willing offering up of ones attention, loyalty and commitment to another human being. The force of love provides all creatures, small or large, with a psychic hold on life without which nothing and no one would desire to be.

The emotion of love brings you the closest you can come to understanding the true nature of God. Love naturally evokes feelings of commitment, dedication, and devotion and it rejoices in the characteristics and attributes of the beloved. Human love resembles God love most when it is specific, God loves every living creature individually, personally, not in the abstract. God is in love with every individual being precisely because of his individuality. You can not, therefore, honestly insist that you love humanity and all people equally if you have never loved another human being.

So again all love is not sexually oriented yet love naturally seeks expression and one such expression is through sex. By practicing Yoga and meditation you can come to know the love which is within you and you can learn to naturally express that love towards another human being. The word Yoga means to bind back, to reunite, to bring together that which has been mistakenly divided. Through Yoga you can learn to reunite sex and love so that you can begin to experience a deeper more loving and joyful union with the other.

Namaste, Ava

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